The Coaching Epidemic: Personal Lessons and Red Flags to Watch Out For

The coaching industry has exploded in recent years, with countless individuals turning to coaches for guidance in business, personal development, and lifestyle changes. While coaching has the potential to offer transformative benefits, this rapid expansion has also led to serious issues that resemble an epidemic. The unchecked growth of the industry has resulted in widespread ethical concerns, financial exploitation, and emotional manipulation.

I know this all too well. Not only did I hire a coach, but I became one. I had firsthand experience in this world, and when I was completely and utterly brainwashed by it, I said things I regret. I shared a lot online during that time that goes against my moral compass and my values—things I’ll always deeply regret. I’m embarrassed. I crossed the boundaries of what is ethical marketing and what is just total bllcks.

But those I coached? I desperately wanted to help them. And to do that, I tortured myself by working every single night from evening until morning. My babies would wake up, and I’d be mum during the day, neglecting a lot of my parenting responsibilities just to keep helping my clients. I did this for a year, surviving on roughly four hours of sleep a night—if that. It led to serious mental health problems, from intrusive thoughts to hallucinations at my lowest points. It made me really ill. The day I finally listened to my loved ones and stopped, I felt like I’d just crawled out of a cave.

Now, having stepped away from that space and regained clarity, I can see how this coaching epidemic preys on vulnerable individuals. So, in this post, I want to not only share my personal story but also help you recognise the red flags that are common in this industry—and how to protect yourself.

The Epidemic of Coaching: Promise vs. Reality

At its best, coaching can be a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. A skilled coach can help you set clear goals, develop actionable strategies, and provide the accountability needed to stay on track. However, the industry’s explosive growth has led to a flood of individuals offering coaching services without the necessary experience, training, or ethical grounding. This has created an environment ripe for exploitation, where the promises made by some coaches often do not match the reality experienced by their clients.

I was one of those clients. The coach I hired promised huge financial rewards in a short amount of time, assuring me that I had the potential to achieve great success. They fed on my vulnerability, telling me that all I needed was their ‘proven strategies’ to get there. At the time, I was eight weeks postpartum and desperate for financial stability. They found that vulnerability and exploited it.

The Coaching Cycle and Pyramid Scheme-Like Dynamics

One of the more concerning aspects of the coaching epidemic is how it can mimic the dynamics of a pyramid scheme. Here’s how this works:

Coaches, after achieving a certain level of success, often shift their focus from providing valuable coaching services to recruiting new coaches. These new recruits are encouraged to join expensive programmes with the promise that they, too, can achieve significant financial success—often by recruiting even more coaches.

This creates a cycle where the primary focus shifts from client success to expanding the network of coaches, with each layer of recruits expected to bring in more people. As a result, the emphasis on delivering real value to clients diminishes, and the industry starts to resemble a multi-level marketing (MLM) structure, where success is more about who you can recruit rather than the quality of coaching you provide.

This dynamic is harmful to both coaches and clients. Coaches may feel pressured to prioritise recruitment over genuine client outcomes, while clients may receive subpar coaching services as a result.

Recognising the Red Flags

To avoid falling victim to this coaching epidemic, it’s essential to be aware of the red flags that could indicate a less-than-ethical coach. Here are some key things to watch out for:

1. Unrealistic Financial Promises: Be cautious of coaches who promise dramatic financial gains in a short period. Phrases like “Make £10k in 30 days with just 10 hours of work per week” are often too good to be true. While there are certainly success stories, they are usually outliers. Sustainable success typically requires time, effort, and a strong foundation.
2. Ethical Sales Practices: Some coaches will encourage you to “find the money” or even take out loans to afford their high-ticket programmes. They might tell you to lie to your partner or that your family doesn’t “get it.” A reputable coach will never pressure you into a financial commitment that could lead to hardship. They’ll respect your financial situation and never push you into desperation.
3. Lack of Personalisation: A good coach will take the time to understand your unique situation, goals, and challenges. If a coach offers a one-size-fits-all approach without a thorough consultation, this could be a sign that they are not genuinely interested in your individual success.
4. Blaming Clients for Lack of Results: Some coaches deflect responsibility by blaming clients for not achieving the desired outcomes, often claiming that the client didn’t put in enough work or had a “mindset issue.” They might say you didn’t follow their strategy exactly or that you’re being “negative” or have “limiting beliefs.” A good coach should take responsibility for their role in your progress and be willing to adjust their approach if something isn’t working.
5. Vague or Intangible Offerings: Beware of coaches who rely heavily on vague promises like “being in their energy” or “accessing their vibration” without providing concrete, actionable steps to help you achieve your goals.

The Epidemic of Gaslighting, Emotional Manipulation, and Desperation

One of the most insidious aspects of the coaching epidemic is the emotional manipulation that can occur. Gaslighting, where the coach makes you question your reality, is common. They’ll tell you that if you’re not seeing results, it’s because you don’t “want it enough” or didn’t follow their advice to the letter. This tactic shifts the blame from them to you, making you feel inadequate or guilty.

Mindset manipulation is another common trick. Coaches might convince you that your struggles are due to your “negative energy” or “limiting beliefs,” rather than a flaw in their strategy. You’re told to push through, stay positive, and keep spending.

This kind of manipulation can lead to severe mental health consequences. I’ve seen people fall into serious debt, take out loans, lose their marriages, and even reach points of emotional breakdowns. Some are so desperate to achieve the promised results that they keep buying more courses and programmes, hoping this next one will be the magic pill. It’s a toxic cycle that can lead to financial ruin, damaged relationships, and even, in some extreme cases, suicide attempts.

These tactics can create a dangerous cycle of dependency, where the client feels trapped and continually pours more money into the coach’s hands, believing that they are just one more course away from success.

How to Choose a Reputable Coach

Given the concerns mentioned above, it’s crucial to approach the process of selecting a coach with care and diligence. Here are some tips to help you make an informed decision:

• Research Their Background: Look into the coach’s credentials, experience, and track record. Have they worked with clients in situations similar to yours? Do they have testimonials or case studies that demonstrate their effectiveness?
• Ask for a Consultation: A reputable coach should offer a consultation before you commit to working together. This is your opportunity to ask questions, gauge their understanding of your needs, and determine if their approach aligns with your goals.
• Check for Transparency: A good coach will be transparent about what they can and cannot do. They should set realistic expectations and be upfront about the level of effort required on your part.
• Look for Customisation: Avoid coaches who offer a one-size-fits-all solution. Your needs are unique, and your coaching should be tailored to address those specific needs.
• Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for References: One of the most effective ways to vet a coach is by speaking directly with their previous clients. Don’t hesitate to ask for references, and make sure to contact at least three previous clients who can provide honest feedback about their experience.

My Personal Experience: Lessons Learned

For a short time, I too started offering coaching services based on the advice from a mentor I had paid thousands for. As time went on, I found myself becoming more and more detached from my own values and business purpose. While I worked extremely hard to support those who trusted me to coach them, I realised that the entire process started to give me the “ick.”

I’m not against all coaches—there are many who do incredible work and genuinely help their clients achieve transformative results. However, my experience made me realise that coaching wasn’t for me. I’ve since returned to focusing on what I truly love: being an educator in the beauty industry. I provide beauty training courses that offer skill development and qualifications, and I offer social media training at a low cost to keep it accessible.

Business Rooted in Integrity

Coaching can be a life-changing experience when done correctly. It has the potential to provide you with the guidance, support, and accountability needed to achieve your goals. However, the rapid growth of the industry has also led to the rise of questionable practices that can do more harm than good.

As a potential client, it’s crucial to approach the coaching industry with your eyes open. By recognising the red flags, understanding the potential pitfalls, and doing your due diligence, you can find a coach who genuinely has your best interests at heart.

For coaches, this is a call to maintain integrity and prioritise client success over personal gain. In the end, coaching should be about empowering others to achieve their full potential—not just about the bottom line. And I can tell you honestly, when I was in a space of being desperate, money-hungry, and not focused on truly understanding my clients’ problems and journeys, I was not seeing great results. You certainly won’t see sustainable results that way.

For many of us, success comes from returning customers, and if you don’t genuinely have a desire to help them, they will feel that, and they won’t return. When you run your business from the heart—with passion and a true desire to help—people see that, they feel that, and they come back time and time again.